"I am unique"

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
  
• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
  
• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
  
• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
  
• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
  
• my ability to establish warm connections with people
  
• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
  
• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
  
• being unique and being seen as unique by others
  
• having aesthetic sensibilities
  
• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
  
• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
  
• feeling guilty when I disappoint people
  
• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
  
• expecting too much from myself and life
  
• fearing being abandoned
  
• obsessing over resentments
  
• longing for what I don't have

Fours as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
  
• are very sensitive
  
• feel that they don't fit in
  
• believe they are missing something that other people have
  
• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
  
• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
  
• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Fours as Parents

• help their children become who they really are
  
• support their children's creativity and originality
  
• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
  
• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
  
• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

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